Los Angeles (Concocted News)--Conspiratorial investigators who have questioned whether or not man landed on the moon and who haven’t been able to prove that Michael Jackson was murdered reached a compromise position yesterday in which they say that they can conclusively prove that Michael Jackson never landed on the moon.
Alan Smackness, the head of People with Way, Way, Too Much Time on their Hands, says his group has proof positive that Jackson never walked on the moon. “All that moon walking he did in his videos lead many to believe he actually walked on the moon, but now we know that’s not true,” said Smackness. The group interviewed thousands of people and looked at video of both the first moon landing and “Thriller” before releasing their findings.
Smackness said his group's interest in the possibility was initially prompted by the fact that Jackson often slept in an oxygen chamber. “We thought maybe he acquired that from NASA but it turns out he got it from some old medical supply place.”
The group concluded that Jackson was not on the lunar module that landed on the moon in 1969 because he was on tour with the Jackson 5 in July of 1969. “As far as we can tell, Michael Jackson was in Amarillo, Texas performing and not on the moon on July 20, 1969,” said Smackness. “Plus, we don’t think NASA has a space suit that would fit an eleven-year old.”
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