Idaho (Concocted News)--Advised by those around him to “count his blessings” 47-year-old Nate Dickson did so yesterday and unexpectedly came up with a negative number.
“I was shocked,” said Dickson. “I kind of had ball parked the number of blessings I had and I figured in would be in the neighborhood of 23, so when I came up with minus 4, I was dumbfounded.”
Dickson was divorced earlier this year in what was the first of a series of unfortunate events. He also wrecked his car, was laid off from his job, accidentally burned down his house, got another job and was fired, lost two of his four limbs in a freak screwdriver accident, and killed most of his grass by cutting it too short during the recent drought.
On the plus side, he backed over his cat. “That was a blessing,” said Dickson. “I couldn’t afford litter and carting buckets of sand from the sandbox at the park was pretty darn hard on my back.”
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