Nebraskan Man Upset Because of Mexicans Stealing his Job of Bitching About Illegal Immigrants

Nebraska (Concocted News)--Scott Johnson, 27, of Taylorsville, Nebraska launched a campaign this week to bar Mexicans from bitching about illegal immigrants claiming that right belongs exclusively to native born Americans.  

“I think it sucks that these Mexicans stand around and complain about Guatamalans taking over this country,” said Johnson.  “Complaining about foreigners stealing our jobs, and using up all of our social services is a right guaranteed to Americans in the Constitution.”  

Johnson may be correct in his assertion.  Professior J. Whitten Smithson, of Northwestern University, says that in fact the Consitituion does contain a little known amendment pertaining to who may and may not whine about poorly educated peasants stealing vegetable picking jobs.  

“The NInth Amedment does address it,” says Smithson.  “Specifically, the Amendment, often called the ‘The Right to Piss and Moan’ Amendment’, he continued, “Says, ‘Only Americans born in this country may file a greivance either written or oral in the halls of government or in a bar, tavern, or at a  drunk-ass backyard barbecue, when the subject of that grievance concerns illegal immigration.’”

Johnson, who at 5-7, towers over his 5-5 South of the Border adversaries, added, “Hey, let them earn their citizenship like I did  by knocking-up their 14-year-old girlfriend and stabbing their abusive step-father.  Then they can start crying big crocodile tears about the El Salvadoreans coming here and taking up all the corn husking jobs.”